out

Were it not for my children, I would have been dead already.  no doubt.

humira

decided to try it. should be here by friday and then off to dr p's office for 1st two injections. f this.

eyes

of course. now its affecting my vision. dandy.

Face it

Yesterday was a new low, even for me. For a few days, I had felt the texture of the skin on my face changing, and I found a patch of the p on the inside of my right eye, just under the eyebrow. Rob said he doesn't see it, but he's being kind. I see it, and that's what matters.

Priority #1 - changing my negative attitude to a postiive one. 
Priority #2  - getting a treadmill into my room. Getting to the gym is proving hard because Paige won't go in the kids' room and because it's quite embarrassing to see my skin covering the treadmill when I'm done.

Holistic Acupuncture

Went tonight for first visit tonight. AE came with me, which I was SO thankful for. Between the wait, and the time she spent talking to me, and the treatment, we were there for over two hours.  I'm SO thankful to have AE so willing to help, and living so close, and so knowledgeable about holistic treatments.


I know these things take time to heal the body, and I am fully committed to the process.   Not sure how many treatments I can realistically do since they are $68 each and they don't take credit cards. In the meantime, I have resolved myself to having to take the Humira to at least stop the spread of the psoriasis. I'm just not functioning well these days. It's a struggle to sleep, get out of bed, take care of my kids, etc..  They are going too many days between showers, not eating properly, etc.  My day revolves around counting down the minutes until Rob is home and I can go lay down in my bed again.  It's then I can find a comfortable position and not move again.  Friday nights are the worst, when he works overnight.  And, the kids go to bed later on Friday nights, so it's a double whammy.


Thank GOD I'm teaching online this semester and I don't have to go on campus. I do have to find time to get online and grade assignments, but that's manageable.

Paxil

Realized I really do need an anti-anxiety/depressant, so gave in and started taking the Paxil that Dr. Cherot prescribed. Know it takes a few weeks to get into the system, so I will take the Xanax as needed until then. First psychiatrist appointment is set for early march.

F*CK!

Went to dr bagel and a huge turn of events. He reamed me out! Said I was trying to manipulate him and I needed to listen to him or go get a 2nd opinion. Asked him to clarify so I wouldn't repeat behavior.  Didn't give me specifics. Mad that I won't go on biologics. Wanted to do a biopsy and bloodwoork. Told him I wasn't letting a doctor who just yelled at me and was mad at me, go near me with a scalpel!  He left the room and then came back in (without knocking) and said "i know you're crying and i know you don't want to listen to me, but..."  no apology for yelling at me. Still don't know what I did wrong.  I said "I can read between the lines and I realize you don't want me as a patient anymore, so I'll leave now and find another doctor" He said "OK Good" and that was the end of an era.

And...the anxiety level increased three-fold.

I'm on an immune-suppressing drug that requires monthly bloodwork, and I have no dermatologist.  Great.